40 Days & 40 Nights
Are all your birthday wishes, New Year's Resolutions, and/or 80% of passing thoughts all about weight loss? Congratulations, you've let the worst people from 2003 win.
What does it feel like letting your self-image be shaped by Howard Stern, possibly a literal demon? Losing weight makes someone else money and you smaller. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, "If you do not accept your mind and body, you cannot be at home with yourself."
Like white men at Red Dress Run, Lent is a time of introspection and it's right after Mardi Gras. If you want to give up drinking and that feels meaningful, you have our full support. But what if you gave up the concept of doubt? Or lying? Or exclamation points in emails?
Lent is 40 days of whatever you want it to be. Josh Hartnett taught us that. Sure it started with Jesus in the desert resisting temptation, but are you going to the desert? Do you think there's a guy in the clouds who impregnated a virgin with a baby and then let that kid be nailed to wood? That feels like something The Fast and the Furious movies would have come up with eventually. Obviously, God doesn't care about your weight, so why do you? Of all the things in the world that matter, that's what God's concerned with? He thinks you'd be a better person if you weighed less? He sounds like Howard Stern, tbh.
This year for Lent, we're doing things (record scratch) a little bit differently.
Lying
It's hard but really good. As someone who lies a lot (calm down), a lot of the lies slipping out are about making someone else feel better. But when we don't allow others to manage their own emotions, we're not treating them as equals.
Worrying what people will think of you if you're yourself is bad. They might not like you, but then they're probably someone you shouldn't hold in high esteem or be that close to. If you find yourself self-editing all the time within personal relationships, be it romantic, friendships, or family, maybe that's something that would be meaningful to explore for 40 days.
Assuming People Don't Like You
They didn't even say anything yet. Getting dressed and assuming people will think something looks stupid, assuming people you meet have a low opinion of you when they haven't done or said anything indicating that, always interpreting vagueness negatively.
When you enter every interaction carrying such bad faith, you're underestimating the amount of power you have and also how beautiful the world can be. Have you seen that one palm tree at N. Claiborne and Poydras? Of the three ways any situation can go—positive, negative, neutral—two-thirds of those are fine, so to assume bad all the time is unhelpful and illogical. What could change in 40 days if you assumed people liked you?
Books By Men
How many of the last books you read were by men? Unless you're super intentional, it's easy to have your art be dominated by men because, well, you can figure it out. Seeking out the thoughts of women is not only beneficial and morally correct, it's fun. Women are weird and talented.
Some suggestions if you're looking: Out There by Kate Folk, The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris, Bad Company: Private Equity and the Death of the American Dream by Megan Greenwell, Make Me Famous by Maud Ventura, Honey by Isabel Banta, The Ear, The Eye, and The Arm by Nancy Farmer, I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying by Youngmi Mayer, Yolk by Mary H.K. Choi, Luster by Raven Leilani, The Sound of Gravel by Ruth Wariner, Little Monsters by Adrienne Brodeur, Down the Drain by Julia Fox, Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi, Fat Girls Hiking: An Inclusive Guide to Getting Outdoors at Any Size by Summer Michaud-Skog, Acts of Service by Lillian Fishman, Best Woman by Rose Dommu, and Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh—actually, anything by Ottessa Moshfegh. Good luck.
Also, why don't you buy local while you're at it? Blue Cypress on Oak Street will order anything for pick up if they don't already have it, and they probably do.
Any Bad Opinions About Animals
"Alligators are bad." "Dogs are dumb." "Cats are stand-offish." "Snakes are gross." You sound ignorant. Every animal is cool, and you want to know why? Because they're alive—same as you. They have adapted to survive, same as you. You think you always had nipples? Grow up.
Having bad opinions about animals is letting everyone know you aren't awed by the miracles of the universe, which is embarrassing. You don't like spiders? Guess what? They don't care. They're too busy making silk inside themselves and then weaving it into intricate patterns to get food for their family. They range from harmless to so poisonous one bite can paralyze a grown man.
For any animal you think you don't like, why don't you try to learn as much as you can about it this Lent? Snakes smell with their tongues. Cockroaches can live weeks without their heads. If Joe Rogan could do that, you'd fall over yourself. Cockroaches deserve your respect. There's alligators in the canals. That's so cool—but be careful.
It's hurting you.
