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Mom’s the Word

09:00 May 04, 2022
By: Julie Mitchell

Tall or Small, We Love Them All

Mother's Day is the one day a year we formally acknowledge and say thank you to our moms, the women we came from. Moms come in all shapes and sizes. They can be mean, doting, protective, sweet, or funny. What can you possibly do on Mother's Day to honor this diverse group of women? Whatever kind of mom you have, we'll have something for her on our list.

If You Have a Critical Mom

Plan something. All she wants to know is that you have the capability to succeed in this world after she is gone. Take time to think through all the possibilities. What is she happiest doing? How can you make that a group activity? What problems might arise? What will the solutions to those problems be? By putting energy into planning, your mom will see that you care and are trying. Note: This only works for a well-intentioned critical mom. If your mom is critical out of malice, she will always find fault no matter what you do. In this case you should get a copy of Mommie Dearest on DVD and say, "This reminded me of you." Or the next time you visit, hide it in the house. She'll find it.

If You Have an Easy-Going Mom

This is the kind of mom who is proud of you no matter what. If you didn't make the play, she's proud you tried. If you got fired, she knows you'll find something better, and they didn't deserve you. This can be a tough mom to buy for because no matter what you get, she'll say she likes it. The trick here is time. She loves you so much and wants to spend time together, not get a little porcelain cat eating strawberries (I don't know why I think that's a thing). Your best bet is going to be an activity that reminds her of your bond. Making a family recipe together, doing one of those classes where you drink wine and paint a bridge, or going to PetSmart and buying her a fish. If you're with her, she'll love it. If you live far away, you can hand-make a card with pictures of the two of you and a list of all the things you appreciate about her.

If You Have a Combo Mom

Your mom loves you so much, but she worries about you. It kind of depends on her mood what you're going to get. Will she get frustrated you picked the wrong napkins to set the table? Or will she tear up thinking about how beautiful you are? This is a tricky mom. Like a crab, this mom is very guarded but has a lot of love to give. A vulnerable gift is the way to go. Like when a dog shows its belly to another, this mom will appreciate your unequivocal submission. Not like the teenage, college, or beyond years where you butted heads because she doesn't understand what you're doing with your life or you fundamentally. This is her day. This is a day to lay down and say, "You early voted for Michael Bloomberg, and that's fine," or "I'm sure I was with you when you visited Chicago and went to that restaurant; I'm just not remembering." Your gift today is appeasement. She's right. Also, you can get her earrings that look like skyscrapers—she'll love those.

If Your Mom has Passed On

Mothers have such a strong role in our lives that no matter what the relationship. When they leave us, it is significant. If your mom has passed on and you miss her a lot you should do things on Mother's Day that remind you of her. Cherish the memories of your mom and remember the love. Watch her favorite movies, order or make food that reminds you of her, listen to voicemails you saved, etc. If your mom is gone, and you didn't have a good relationship, focus on you. Call out of work. Play mini golf by yourself. Take your dog for a long walk. You get a free pass today, and that is its own gift.

If Your Mom is Perfect

If you have a perfect relationship with your mom, give yourself a little pat on the back because that's very rare, and you don't need my advice because you already know the perfect gift to give her. It's a little porcelain cat isn't it?

If Your Mom Tries Her Best

Look, some moms are flawed. Yours may have had a hard childhood, and she's doing her best. She just doesn't get it right every time, and maybe she accidentally gave you excess emotional baggage, but she's in therapy now and loves you. This mom just wants you to call her more and to be involved in your life because you didn't speak to her for a few years. This mom will appreciate flowers and new music. Does she know who India.Arie is? I bet she'll like her.

If Your Mom Doesn't Exist

How did you get here? Are you a clone? The messiah?
A re-incarnated spirit? Collection of animated mushrooms? Please email.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all moms. Hope this helps.

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