Sno-ball's Chance in Hell
It has happened—the elusive "springtime" in New Orleans has come and gone. It's sno-ball time!
Beautiful weather rightfully fit for music and food festivals, enjoying a cold beverage of choice outdoors, patio dining, and park strolling have all been replaced with sun umbrellas, brow sweat, SPF 100 sunscreen, and A/C units cranked to such extreme levels the Snow Miser would grin in approval. Currently, the upper brass at Entergy are high-fiving, shaking hands, and patting one another on the back in a boardroom laden with gold. The money faucet has indeed been turned back on. Brace yourselves—summer is here.
While the relentless heat wave that annually descends upon New Orleans like a damp hot press may prove unavoidable, resident experts plan accordingly and, in true Crescent City spirit, don't let something like a mere triple digit heat index stop them from having a damn good time. And what better way to distract oneself from the heat stroke awaiting you outside of your front door than a cool, refreshing treat?
May I offer you a sno-ball?
As you see, not all heroes wear capes. Some come sporting flimsy, recyclable cups and are appropriately doused in sticky, sweet, assorted-flavored syrups. The sno-ball is a godsend to Louisianans when times get hot, dating back to the 1930s. The history of the sno-ball is a highly-debated, complex one, as folks from New Orleans and Baltimore, Maryland engage in heated dialogue (pun intended) over its geographic origins. But, regardless of where it originated, what cannot be argued is its utter necessity for staving off a brutal New Orleans summer—one hell-bent on reducing you to a quickly evaporating puddle of your own bodily fluids on the cracked, uneven sidewalk.
Like other eating essentials woven into the cultural and societal fabric of this region, an abundance of choices are made available to you ranging in specialties, ingredients, methodologies, and price points. Odds are if you're actively seeking a life-saving sno-ball in the thralls of summer, you're at close-risk of having your spirit broken by the unrelenting temperatures. Why willingly have your wallet broken along with it? Hold on to whatever dignity you have remaining. Here are some of the most affordable sno-ball options in Greater New Orleans.
Buck's Sno-Wiz
Westwego folks know. If you're trying to get the skinny on Buck's, don't waste your time on Instagram, they haven't actively posted since 2016. Their Facebook page has all the goods, though, including gift card giveaways and specials ranging from half off deals to $1 off specific menu items. Speaking of the menu, theirs will hit you with everything from frozen coffee to spicy chamoy fruit cups, nachos, and everything else under the sun. Their newly created Tootsie Pop sno-ball is worth the trek alone. Buck himself would be proud.
Chance in Hell SnoBalls
"Icy treats for a world on fire." Louisa Street is about to be "#blessed," as the Chance In Hell founders recently locked in their soon-to-be first ever brick and mortar location. Until then, you can find them at pop-ups in the Bywater neighborhood, slinging all natural, small batch, handmade sno-balls for only $5, with the generous option to "make it adult" for a trifling $2 upcharge. Need further convincing? Try the "unicorn poop," which is an exemplary amalgamation of mixed berry, vanilla, purple, and pretty. Stay golden, Ponyboy.
Droopy's
For the last two years, Droopy's in Harahan has been voted "Best Sno-Ball in Jefferson Parish,'' yet their pricing has remained consistently customer-friendly. Their highest-selling Droopy-flavored sno-ball is indescribable. The recipe is a family secret, and they go through roughly 300 bottles of the stuff per week. If you're looking to switch things up and keep yourself on your toes, you've arrived at the proper destination. Their custom ice cream sundaes, including hot peach cobbler and strawberry shortcake, taste precisely as good as you're picturing them to be at this very moment.
Red Rooster
What started as a sweets and sno-ball stand in 1977 organically morphed into one of the city's best hidden gems and one-stop shops. Red Rooster is the quintessential "if you know, you know." Just off of Washington Avenue in the Lower Garden District, Black and woman-owned Red Rooster dishes up everything from mouth-watering treats to seafood, yakamein, po-boys, and nachos. On Mondays, a full plate of red beans, accompanied with three golden, crispy wings, will run you $8. Like Devin Snow said, "They been here since Elvis died."
Sal's Sno-Balls
Sal's has been slinging the frozen goods to eager, overheated Metairie customers since 1960. With sno-balls, the ingredient and flavor combinations are endless. Akin to Rick Astley, Sal's will never let you down no matter what you ultimately decide on. But it's their classic flavors and soft serve cones that ensure nearly every person is a repeat customer. Even their merchandise is priced reasonably well. During sno-ball season, Sal's is open 11 hours a day during the week. The dedication to their craft is unparalleled, so stop on by and grab a stump.
Stop Jockin
Stop Jockin is a spot hidden in plain sight right off of Saint Bernard Avenue where Gentilly collides with the Fair Grounds. If you've never been, keep your eyes peeled. Its location is planted firmly next to the on-ramp for the interstate, and, if you're not paying close attention, you'll zip right past it. The Tropical Sunrise with condensed milk tastes like a dreamsicle explosion in your mouth and is a Stop Jockin customer favorite. Spend $5 or less and the stand is cash only. If you go above that, you may whip out the plastic.
