Things Middle Schoolers Are Stressed About

Young and the Restless

School is starting, and you're going to see a lot of talk about supplies, outfits, teachers, and seeing friends again, but what about the stressors?

Middle schoolers occupy a very unique space, much like Britney Spears in her classic "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman." If you thought that was about sex, you were wrong. It's about being in middle school and having all the homework but none of the freedom or respect. High schoolers are learning to drive and seeing R-rated movies. Middle schoolers are learning they don't have recess and are learning all about climate change. They're stressed out.

When you think "middle schooler," are you dismissive? Well, not anymore.

Bullying

Imagine, if you will, Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King Jr. What do they have in common? They've never seen a Mr. Beast video. Now if you can, for a moment, imagine what your psyche would be if instead of watching LaVar Burton read to you, or a talking dog solve mysteries from classic literature, you had a sociopathic billionaire creating social experiments. The kids are not all right, and the revolution will not be televised. It will be streamed with monetized ads.

Empathy is something that develops in your brain as you age, and Mr. Beast is delaying it. Middle schoolers are big enough to do damage when they fight but not old enough to understand the pain of another person—a dangerous combo. In a world where capitalism makes everything for profit (schools, hospitals, adoption, etc.) and rewards greed, what lessons are they learning? If you have access to a middle schooler, please teach them everything is connected and giving people thousands of dollars to live in a grocery store is bad.

Schoolwork

You know how our school system isn't really shaping kids to be their best, most authentic selves or showing them to creatively problem-solve the challenges of life but instead preparing them for a lifetime of compliance and work? This starts in middle school, unfortunately.

Everyone makes fun of rolling backpacks, but no one thinks about why they start appearing in 6th grade and disappear by 9th. It's all the heavy books and their tiny bodies. They simply don't have the shoulder strength to be carrying the books they need for all the work they're asked to do.

By the time 9th grade rolls around (pun intended), they've had a growth spurt or two and know how to use a locker. Iceland implemented a four-day work week six years ago and every metric has improved from productivity to quality of life, and that would be true for your middle schooler, as well. No more homework—socialism—chocolate milk.

When Too Many People Are Talking To You At Once and You Want to Run Away Somewhere

Is this a short poem or simply the day-to-day reality of being in middle school? We'll never know, but emotional growth is happening all the time. Without the gift of perspective and time, these years are the most intense you'll ever experience. You think adults in Paris having affairs are feeling a lot? Try being in 7th grade. No one's had their heart broken before. They're experiencing life's biggest emotions for the first time with peers who have also never experienced them.

Imagine breaking your leg, but, instead of a doctor, you have your best friend whose biggest accomplishment involves running. They are out of their depth—no coping skills, no self-awareness, yet everything is happening. It's too loud and overwhelming and scary. Sure, some of them have good parents (not all), but the adult/kid divide is very strong at this age. Even the best parents aren't privy to everything going on. They lean heavily on their friends and media, which is terrifying, depending.

When You Have a Lot of Pressure on You, Like When You Confess To Your Crush and She Doesn't Like You

This was touched on briefly in the last block, but crushes need their own paragraph. The social pressures of crushes (any gender, by the way) cannot be understated. Liking someone, wondering if they like you, telling someone, hearing back—sometimes through a note other people saw—these are core memories, shaping how you see yourself and the world.

Think about the foundation of your world view. It probably began in middle school. You've left the safety of your family and, for the first time, are interacting with kids whose parents you don't know. No buffer or shield of adults to mediate differences and weirdness and shame—it's kid-on-kid communication, which can be brutal. Adults don't even tell each other they have crushes. They go through apps or get drunk. Kids don't have any of that. They don't have Tinder or beer—they are soberly navigating love and rejection while also learning math. They deserve medals.

Climate Change

Duh.

Not Seeing Spirited Away

They don't know this, maybe you don't either, but not seeing Spirited Away is stressful. Miyazaki specifically made this film for 11 to 13 year olds because he felt there was no media that spoke to their anxieties and fears, which they are often dismissed by adults. Do it. Show them that film.

This list is unending and dependent on the kid. Check on the middle schoolers in your life, buy them ice cream, give them a hug, stop them from watching prank videos on YouTube, and listen to them. They're going through a lot.