Emily Hingle

Alaska 5000 Doesn't Have a Valentine Either

11:48 February 15, 2023
By: Emily Hingle

Alaska Thunderf*ck 5000 put on a wild, colorful, and oh-so dramatic show for her extraordinarily excited fans at the House of Blues. Donning a stunning, glittering red dress and towering blonde wig, she put on some matronly glasses to read a tale about an ugly duckling during Drag Queen Story Hour.

After putting away the book, Alaska informed the enthralled crowd that she was waiting on a call… from her lover. The phone finally rang for her, but, alas, it wasn't the good word that she was expecting. Her sad rendition of Roxette's "It Must Have Been Love" revealed that she is now just as single as the rest of us on Valentine's Day.

Well, the pain didn't last for too long. Alaska went backstage and transformed into a powerful woman known for her character and strength in the face of adversity. Of course I'm talking about Dorothy of "The Golden Girls." Dressed as Dorothy, Alaska recited Dorothy's amazing monologue from one episode in which she finally tells her ne'er-do-well ex-husband stan that she's over him. It ended with the triumphant line, "I finally get to have what you tried to cheat me out of. I finally get to say goodbye, Stanley. I said goodbye, Stanley."

With the crowd rivoted, Alaska launched into Alanis Morrisette's revenge song. "You Oughta Know." After a few other covers and originals, Alaska tore into her song "Your Makeup is Terrible" for the final number. She left the stage to entertain those sitting in the front row face-to-face and disappeared into the crowd. Those on the balcony could not see where she went. Then a woman shrieked, and Alaska appeared up on the balcony where she ventured through her fans to serenade all of those down below her. That was a moment that no one in the audience will ever forget.

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