Ever been to Jazz Fest? Trying to decide whether or not you should go? Whether you're a vet who’s been every season or a noob trying to figure out if it's right for you, take a look at this quick itinerary and be transported through the magic of....A Day In The Life of Jazz Fest.
10:30 a.m.: Look at camping chairs, decide they are too much of a hassle, leave them and take a blanket instead.
10:40 a.m.: Arrive at the Fair Grounds, attempt to find a parking space.
10:55 a.m.: Realize your gross miscalculation.
11:10 a.m.: Drive four blocks away, attempt to find a parking space.
11:30 a.m.: Have a mental breakdown.
11:45 a.m.: Give up. Pay a man $25 to move his trash can.
12:00 p.m.: Get to the Fair Grounds, get in line.
12:10 p.m.: Get in the festival!!
12:11 p.m.: Realize you are dying of thirst.
12:15 p.m.: Curse the heavens for not bringing a water bottle.
12:16 p.m.: See someone drinking the largest Strawberry Lemonade you have ever seen.
12:16 p.m.: Bask in its cool refreshing glow.
12:18 p.m.: Spend $6 on a Strawberry Lemonade.
12:21 p.m.: Become disgusted with the taste of sugar.
12:22 p.m.: Throw away most of your Strawberry Lemonade.
12:24 p.m.: See one of those boards with the stage diagrams on it.
12:25-12:40 p.m.: Try to figure out where you are.
12:41 p.m.: See that two bands you like are playing at the same time.
12:42 p.m.: Make a Sophie’s Choice.
12:43 p.m.: Start walking towards where you think your chosen tent is.
12:44 p.m.: Buy a $4 beer for the walk.
12:50 p.m.: Find another map board, realize you went the wrong direction.
1:00 p.m.: Find your band!
1:05 p.m.: Regret not bringing camping chairs.
2:00 p.m.: Get hungry.
2:30 p.m.: Buy some food.
2:45 p.m.: Buy some more food.
3:00 p.m.: Realize Stevie Wonder is playing.
3:01 p.m.: Frantically try to find Stevie Wonder.
3:03 p.m.: Yell “Stevie!”
3:05 p.m.: Realize that was dumb, buy another beer.
3:10 p.m.: Find the stage Stevie Wonder is on.
3:15 p.m.: Take out some binoculars, because apparently nobody else forgot he was playing.
4:00 p.m.: Scream the lyrics to “Ribbon In the Sky”.
4:10 p.m.: Buy another beer.
4:12 p.m.: Run into some friends. They have camping chairs!
4:20 p.m.: Fall asleep in a camping chair.
5:15 p.m.: Wake up happy and sunburned.
5:20 p.m.: Put on a hat.
5:30 p.m.: Argue with your friends about the next band to see. Try to drag them to Lauryn Hill, but end up telling them you’ll meet them at Nick Jonas.
5:50 p.m.: Bond with other Lauryn Hill fans.
6:00 p.m.: Realize you need to go to the bathroom.
6:01 p.m.: Prepare yourself mentally to use a Port-a-Potty.
6:30 p.m.: Finally use the Port-a-Potty.
6:35 p.m.: Catch the end of Nick Jonas
6:37 p.m.: Think about how problematic the lyrics of “Jealous” are.
6:38 p.m.: Sing-along anyway.
7:00 p.m.: Leave to go home.
7:15 p.m.: Put aloe on your sunburn, sleep forever.
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