God bless Taco Bell and its tireless dedication to fast food innovation. The company continues to lead the global race to end hangovers with its latest breakfast bastardization, the Taco Biscuit. This announcement comes quick on the heels of other breakthrough 1st meal mutations from TB, including it's Cap'n Crunch Doughnut Holes. These munchy moves are allegedly part of a first strike from Taco Bell, which plans to begin a Cold War race for obesity-inducing domination against McDonalds.
I imagine Taco Bell has a mad scientist on its payroll with a room filled with godless Tex-Mex-spliced abominations he's machinated. I picture Ripley breaking into his lab ala James Cameron's Alien, and a taco-human hybrid pleading her, "Eaaattt meeee!" That, or they have a giant Willy Wonka-esque pantry of sugary goodness they fill with stoned engineering undergrads each weekend to see what ingenious junk-food combinations they come up with.
Regardless, Where Y'at commends Taco Bell for all that they do. With that, I leave you, dear reader, to ponder this:
