The Sunshine State's Newest Vampire

21:30 June 02, 2015
By: Staff

Florida: Sunshine, Disney World & Vampires - Oh My! 

Florida, it's the best of times and the worst of times. Residents of St. Petersburg, FL ought to start wearing garlic around their necks, there's a vampire on the loose. Resident, Josephine Smith, claims to crave human blood as a member of the undead. The St. Petersburg local was arrested for aggravated assault after violently attacking her boyfriend, Earl Wynn, with a pair of scissors. Smith must have learned from her previous offense that steel is more effective than human teeth. In 2011, Smith was arrested for attacking an elderly citizen outside of an abandoned Hooter's with her teeth, only after revealing her true identity as a vampire. 

However, this incident didn't drive Wynn batty, he claims this "vampire" has a heart of gold and refuses to press charges. "I love her she's a sweet girl. She's actually the sweetest person I've ever met," he said. "She didn't do anything wrong here. She just needs mental help," says Wynn. However, Wynn's ex-wife isn't so sure, she reports that Smith has previously told Wynn that she will eat him. For now, Wynn should keep a hand mirror under his pillow on his side of the coffin. Nonetheless, Wynn should be credited for raising awareness for mental health. Vampire or human, there is always room for a little mental TLC. 

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