They Will Kill You (2026)
What do a sentient eyeball, a talking pig head, and an Irish accented-Patricia Arquette have in common? Well, previously nothing—that is, until They Will Kill You, Warner Bros. Picture's new action-comedy starring Zazie Beetz. Part-Kill Bill, part-Evil Dead, it's a bloody, daffy, rollicking time at the movies—if not nearly as good or as effective as the movies that inspired it.
This writer went into They Will Kill You "blind" knowing next to nothing about the plot, which is arguably the best way to experience the film. So, let's keep the synopsis brief: Zazie Beetz stars as Asia Reaves, the new maid at an elite NYC high-rise apartment complex known as The Virgil. Right from the get-go, things seem off, from Arquette's stern building manager Lilith to the mostly silent, rarely-seen staff. Asia, for her part, is not quite who she seems, though neither is The Virgil, its staff, or its wealthy clientele (including Heather Graham and Tom Felton). What ensues is a violent, surprising, and occasionally Looney Tunes-esque affair.
Cribbing liberally from the filmographies of Quentin Tarantino and Sam Raimi, They Will Kill You is frequently fun, if also derivative and a bit dumb in places. For all of Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2's antic violence, those movies are elegantly constructed and told. The simplicity of They Will Kill You's story, once it has been fully revealed, makes the ensuing story beats a bit repetitive after a while.
Beetz, however, is a formidable presence and an effective conduit in the story, though she is more convincing in the film's action set pieces than in the movie's more emotional moments.
Graham and Felton ham it up as wealthy, depraved dingbats. Arquette, as always, brings gravitas and subtlety to a fairly stock role. Unfortunately, her in-and-out (mostly out) Irish accent is unfortunate and distracting.
By the time you reach the film's climactic
action set piece, involving the aforementioned talking pig head, it's better to
simply surrender to the film's bloody lunacy. If you do, They Will Kill You
will reward you with gory, good fun.
