Laziness Evolves

06:09 March 03, 2016

Are you ever aggravated that you need to constantly explain the simplicities of modern technology to your parents, things like phone apps and hashtags? Well, maybe next time you are home for the holidays your mom can school you on the complexities of preparing a bowl of cereal.

It appears millenials - a word that never makes me not want to gag - have grown so far from homo sapiens' hunter/gatherer roots that the mere act of preparing a bowl of cereal for sustenance is now too taxing a task for them. A recent New York Times piece reported the results of a consumer survey revealing that 40 percent of millenials regard cereal as an inconvenient breakfast choice because they a) need to prepare it, and b) need to clean up afterwards.

Of course, they can always Uber someone to bring them a premade bowl of cereal, Uber another person to come over and spoon feed them, and finally Uber someone else to come and dispose of said bowl so they don't need to bother cleaning it. Seriously though, when did pouring milk into a dish filled with frosted oats become such an Olympic effort? You don't need that Master of Arts in Early 21st Century Tween Fiction to figure it's so self explanatory people have mastered it for damn near a century now without any preparatory instructions listed on a single box.

And just think what a great Snapchat opportunity you are missing out on. Who wouldn't want to see you successfully complete a bowl of cereal?


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