America (Still) Online

Mind. BLOWN! It appears the Internet's Paleolithic Era has yet to see complete extinction, as CNN reports 2.1 million Americans still use AOL to access the internet via a dial up modem. Though it seems a likely senario from VH1's I Love the '90s or a 23rd Century Amish commune, the article credits low income as the primary reason for failure to upgrade. The rest, the article neglects to reveal, are all overprivileged hipsters struggling to rep retro, undoubtedly using the 10,000 free-trial CDs their parents got in the mail before they were born as PBR coasters. Still, for those that can't access Tidal through a 56k connection, the beep...chcck...eeerrrhhrr of the modem can easily substitute as an ersatz Skrillex station.