Afraid of the Dark

05:31 May 04, 2015
By: Aidi Kansas

Hello Aidi:

   I hope you can help me. My 7-year-old daughter has always been terrified of the dark, and I have tried everything to get her to sleep in her own room. She says she feels like someone is staring at her when she's trying to fall asleep. Other times she says she's actually heard voices in her room when everyone is asleep. She also mentioned a few times that she hears toys fall and a few times her music box played. The crazy thing is it's a music box that's been broken for years.  I feel crazy asking you to help us because I'm in the medical profession and I deal with facts for the most part.  I've been reading your column and I can't help but think there might be something " spirit " related my daughter is sensing. I feel horrible because I've told her in the past that she's just being a baby, and she needs to just learn how to not let her imagination control everything. Coincidentally, I ran into a friend who's child has also experienced strange occurrences in his room like my daughter; she believes our children can communicate with spirits. I just want my daughter to feel safe and not worry about any of this stuff.

Thanks in advance,

Dawn (confused and frustrated)


Hello Dawn:

   The first thing I ask parents experiencing any issues like this is have you been to a child psychologist? We want to make sure that everything has been addressed from a medical and psychological perspective first. Those issues are far more common and it is important to explore those possibilities first. If everything is in order concerning your child's mental and emotional well-being, then I feel like we can explore other possibilities.

   When it comes to a spiritual connection, there's a lot of information out there so I will try to keep this simple. First of all, being a psychic medium is not what you see on television. Our desire for drama in this culture has made psychics appear creepy and ridiculous looking,  creating an expectation that people with developed intuition work by dramatically spewing frightening information to anyone who will listen. The truth is, everyone is born with the gift of psychic ability and intuition. Some children (and even adults) can develop their gifts more easily than others. But like most things in life, developing this skill requires a lot of work and practice.  Boiled down to the basics, we are all made up of electrical energy, which we are constantly giving and receiving. An aura — or our energy field — individually surrounds us. Everything in nature from animal to mineral has an aura; because of this, we can interact with it all — living and non- living. This includes interaction with the spirit world. Children and teens by nature are more psychic, and sometimes seem to be bombarded with subtle and not so subtle energy. Perhaps they receive information so easily because they are less skeptical and are more open to the universe. By learning to calm your inner voice through meditation, you can tune into this energy and use this tool throughout your life.  Learning the rules and understanding how to be clear and open to your guides, angels, and positive spirits is a process which becomes a lifestyle when developed properly. If you're lucky enough (like myself) you can use it to help others.

Most people are perfectly happy never seeing a ghost as long as they're alive.

   What your daughter may be connecting with is an earthbound spirit. An earthbound spirit is a spirit who's around for a period of time after death of the physical body and hasn't moved on from the earth's plane to the spiritual realm. They may have died suddenly like in a car accident where there was no preparation, and so they don't realize they're dead.  Earthbound spirits tend to hang around places and people that they were physically attached to when they were alive. To handle this situation properly, you will need to handle your daughter's fears with more compassion. Telling your child you sympathize with her fears and allowing her to sleep with the light on, for example, can make an enormous difference. What you want to do is empower your child so that she knows she is the one in control.

   Working to clear her aura is the next thing we want to do. I personally do lots of things daily to ensure a clear and vibrant aura. When your aura is clear, it will emanate a strength and confidence that will protect you and will reflect back negative energy that may try to make a connection. Start by using special positive energy candles and cleansing your home with sage. Another thing I like to tell people who sense negative energy around them is to surround yourself with a white or pink light while saying a special prayer. Tell the earthbound spirit to look for the angels and light (like in poltergeist) and to look for people who love them. Gently explain that it's time for them to move on and be at peace. To empower your child by participating in these activities together can really help her create a protective barrier and feel less afraid. Also, taking a few minutes a day to mediate and reinforce the protective barrier around you and your child will help to lovingly send away any presence that is unwanted until she is ready to deal with it — if at all.  Because let's face it, most people are perfectly happy never seeing a ghost as long as they're alive.


Have a question for Aidi Kansas? Aidi addresses readers’ questions in her column, “NOLA Spirit Girl,” published every other Tuesday on You can reach out to her through her Facebook page.

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