West Yorkshire's village idiot called 999 (the UK's equivalent of 911) after discovering that his girlfriend's cat ate his remaining bacon. The victim detailed the purrfect crime commited against him in the opening remarks to his call, as quoted in a recording obtained by The Mirror: "Er...me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon."
The phone operator - obviously a cat person - cleared the fiesty feline of all wrong doing, stating, "We don't arrest cats."
