[Corina Rainer/Unsplash]

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

00:00 November 20, 2012
By: David Vicari

The Twilight books/movies were not made for me, for I am not a teenage girl. However, I'm pretty sure I can recognize something of quality even if I am not its target audience. To me the Twilight films are silly and toothless in both its romance and horror. In fact, to even call this stuff "horror" is an absurd notion.

So, a quick recap: Teenage girl Bella (Kristen Stewart) falls for brooding vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson). There's a potential love triangle with the introduction of shirtless wolf boy Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Eventually, Bella gets pregnant with Edward's child, which is half human and half blood sucker, and it is killing Bella from the inside. To save the life of his true love, Edward turns Bella into a vampire.

Now, we are at the fifth and final movie, Breaking Dawn - Part 2. Bella and Edward's child, Renesmee, is born and they are one big happy family. But wait. The powerful and uptight coven of vampires, known as the Volturi, and led by Aro (Michael Sheen), feel the hybrid child is a threat to their existence.

Not to give too much away, but there is an event in the later part of the film that is a little clever, yet at the same time it reeks of the filmmakers having their cake and eating it too. Unintentional hilarity ensues as the rather fragmented narrative goes from sappy, badly acted soap opera to something out of an X-Men movie with characters flying around with super powers. Everyone is here, but nobody does much, especially Edward. He just sort of looks on.

What I really want to know is why does this high profile, big budget movie have such crappy effects and makeup? The hokey CGI is laughable. Just check out the bad green screen as Bella tests out her new found powers at the beginning. Then, there are close-ups of the vampire characters where you can clearly see blemishes in the make up, or that it actually looks like the actors are slathered in grease paint.

I'm sure fans of this Stephenie Meyer creation will forgive its imperfections. As for me? I'm not a fan.

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