[Unsplash-Timothy-Eberly]

Total Recall

00:00 August 07, 2012
By: David Vicari

Director Len Wiseman has this amazing ability of taking potentially exciting action sequences and making them astoundingly dull. His new remake of the 1990 Paul Verhoeven-directed Arnold Schwarzenegger science fiction vehicle is as passionless and sleep inducing as his debut feature, Underworld.


Both the original film and the remake are loosely based on the Philip K. Dick's short story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale," but virtually all the elements that made the original memorable are missing here: Quaid doesn't go to Mars, there's no Kuato, and no outlandish gore and violence.


In the new movie, factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) visits Rekall - where they implant fake memories - to take a "virtual vacation" in which he imagines himself as a secret agent. It appears, however, that he may actually be a deadly secret agent in reality and has vital information that can take down oppressive dictator, Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston). Not only is Quaid hunted by soldiers but also the woman who he thought was his wife (Kate Beckinsale). He does, however, have an ally in mistress Melina (Jessica Biel).


This uninspired remake showcases poorly edited action scenes, too many fake lens flares, paper-thin characters, and lazy plotting. Most guys, myself included, were hoping for a Beckinsale vs. Biel smack down, but all we get is the two ladies briefly kicking each other in an elevator. So yeah, this Total Recall remake is useless.

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