Staff Writers
Favorite place to come away with “only in New Orleans” stories: Charity Hospital
After 20 minutes of sitting in this waiting room you will need another pad of paper in order to keep up with jotting down the crazy shit that comes through. You may want to bring some Pepto with you as well because the sights – scary yet funny – can make your stomach turn… in the good way and bad. An example of this could be a large and in charge women in a muumuu with a white towel wrapped around her neck that has now turned red because of some unknown under the towel. For all I know she could be bleeding to death, and obviously, only in New Orleans, the nurses don’t seem to care; she needs to wait along with everyone else. - Jessica Wiener
Where not to go if you are trying to hide yourself or that “other” special someone: the Fly on Saturday
If feeling anti-social or incapable of maintaining small talk, especially after a long night of drinking, avoid the levy at all costs. The majority of Uptowners, in particular college kids, choose to spend the day here drinking, throwing a football, and catching rays (and by that I mean a day of eyes wandering to check everyone and everything out). So definitely don’t bring someone you are trying to hide across the tracks to the Fly. - Jessica Wiener
Most Ironic Intersection: where Martin Luther King Blvd meets Jeff Davis Parkway
Anyone who knows anything about history shouldn’t need an explanation. But for those of you who weren’t as smart as the person next to you in history class, I’ll offer a brief synopsis (or summary). Martin Luther King, Jr. revolutionized society by granting civil rights to blacks that were neither enumerated in the Constitution nor the Abolition Amendment. Jefferson Davis was the president of the Confederacy during the Civil War. Just a hunch, but I don’t think that Ol’ Jeff Davis would favor the Civil Rights Act too much. That’s a crossroads if I ever saw one. I wouldn’t be surprised if some tension existed in that neighborhood. - John Breerwood
Best place to have a Keg Party: Winston’s Pub and Patio
Think of having a keg party for your business or your college graduation without any responsibilities…. Well, stop thinking about it and (as Officer Starsky would say) Do it!” As long as you bring 30 people and schedule it in advance, you’re set to have a free Bud Light keg on the outside patio, and you can bring any catered food you want. So the next time you get a hernia hauling a heavy bitch (a keg, that is), don’t say I didn’t just tell you to pick up the damn phone and go to Old Metairie! - John Breerwood
Best Place to get Struck By Lightning: Harvey Canal Locks
Do yourself a favor by not going to this area during a thunderstorm. I used to work at the Corps of Engineers Harvey Lock, and I’ve seen some bolts and rods (and I’m not talking hardware either). The Lock sits in between the two highest metallic points in Harvey: a crane along the river and a train drawbridge that stands straight to the sky when not being used. I got a few whiffs of electric shock when lightning struck a barge crane in the locks. So, I say again, don’t drive down 4th Street during a rainfall, because the next thing you’ll be lightning will be your undies afterward. - John Breerwood
Best bar to watch the rebroadcasts of “Morgus the Magnificent”: Brother’s
Three Tavern
He’s back! Yeah you right! Dr. Momus Alexander Morgus the Magnificent, his trusty sidekick Chopsley, and E.R.I.C. the uh… floating skull head thingy are back in business, performing classic experiments for the good people of New Orleans every Friday night at 10:30 p.m. on Cox Television Channel 10. With the Old City Ice House’s ER room taking patients, long time fans are now watching alongside first timers, and what better place to witness the surgeries commence then at Brother’s Three Tavern on Magazine Street. Get there around 9 p.m. Friday evenings to grab a barstool with the locals, who
will reminisce in that thick city accent of theirs about late weekend evenings with cookies, milk and Morgus. They’re sucking down beers now instead of 2%, but then, for you, that’s a good thing. - Geoffry Shannon
Best Adult Puppet Show: Razzamatazz Productions
No, there aren’t any penis tricks here, so those needing to see the “Hamburger” or “Baby Bird” will have to pay $40 bucks on Off-Off Broadway next time they go. For the rest of us, there is Razzamatazz Productions, a traveling marionette show run by local art teacher and William Castle protégé Ryan Ballard, along with his band of merry pranksters. Though appearing regularly around town, the troupe’s home base is at the Big Top on
Clio Street. All the puppets are exquisitely handmade, with special effects to boot. Hear the sad tale of “Marlboro Karl,” or travel with Led Belly to find the “Cross Roads,” or be awed by the mystery of the “Roaches of the Liver.” Watch the sock monkeys do their thing on stage, and then make your own during special Saturday afternoon sessions held frequently at Big Top. - Geoffry Shannon
Best way to learn how to wax historic with a local: Watch WYES local productions Sundays at noon.
Yeah, it’s PBS, and we know you gave up Big Bird and Yan Can Cook back in kindergarten, but it’s all right every now and then to watch a little educational television, especially when it will help you learn more about your hometown. Roll over from that Saturday night hangover and watch guys like music legend Deacon Jones, former Mayor Moon Landrieu and Mardi Gras historian/talking head Larry Lorenz wax poetic on where people ate, shopped, and lived, as well as family stories and legendary personas of the Big Easy. And the next time a native quizzes you about Mr. Bingle or the Swan Room, you’ll have an answer for them this time. - Geoffry Shannon
Best local can’t-get-that-damn-tune-out-of-my-head song: Cyril Neville’s “New Orleans Cookin’”
To refresh:
“Your love is like New Orleans cookin’, it hits the spot every time.
It fills me with joy,
like an oyster po-boy,
And a taste of homemade wine!”
He finds a way to fit oyster po-boy into a song, people. Genius. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place to pretend you’re in a Raymond Chandler novel: The French Quarter, Saint Ann Street to Frenchmen Street
“The girl from Palookaville, the one with the skirt and the gams that stretched skyward was standing in my Bourbon Street office, flashing an innocent smile. But I could see right through the Mid-West pout; she was no good, a smart blonde with a dumb smile itching to stab me in the back. I didn’t care. I invited her to the Clover Grill for a blue plate special. She nibbled on chili fries and flirted with the short order cook while I shook off my Scotch hangover with a cheeseburger. I laid a crisp Jefferson on the table for the bill. She slipped her number to the cook in a crushed napkin. We made our way over to Frenchmen Street for a late night be-bop trio at Snug Harbor. I got drunk; she flashed eyes at the trumpet player. This, I thought, was detective’s work, my work. I took another shot and let the jazz sink in.”
It ain’t Phillip Marlowe, but I think it would go something like that. -- Geoffry Shannon
Best place to watch a baseball game that means something, but not get
drunk: Turchin Stadium
Fans of the National Pastime should head to the back of Tulane University’s Uptown campus to catch one of the hottest teams in college baseball play their way to Omaha. The Green Wave, ranked No. 1 in the nation in Collegiate Baseball and No. 3 in Baseball America, use the old mix of tough pitching, solid defense and the three-run homerun to defeat their unsuspecting prey… er, opponents. And their matchups between LSU have drawn more crowds then many major league games. Still, you better pre-game or risk paying $4 bucks a pop for a cold one. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place to watch a baseball game that doesn’t mean anything, but get drunk: Thirsty Thursdays with the New Orleans Zephyrs
You’ve got to drive to Airline Highway to enjoy AAA baseball, but when you’re throwing down $1 a brew, you can afford the extra gas money. Once again, the Z’s wonderful promotion staff is offering up Thirsty Thursdays. Baseball, cheap beer, extra hotdog money, tickets on the grass levee… the tourists don’t know what they miss in the summertime. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place to simultaneously watch a three-ring circus and a basketball game: New Orleans Hornets regular season game
Maybe the casual fans enjoy it, I guess. But when I pay to watch hoops, I want to watch hoops. Instead, I get the Big Easy Hip Hop Break Dance Extraordinaires, the Hi-Fly Slam Dunk team, contortionists with exceptional bow hunting skills in their feet, dog tricks, unicyclists, mascots, dancing girls, dancing fat men, incoherent cover bands and a miniature blimp that drops coupons on people. Then, if you’re lucky, Dan Dickau shoots a jay or two before the lion tamer sets up for the halftime act. If Dr. Jay were dead, he would be rolling in his grave. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place you might have been able to buy Hunter S. Thompson a drink in
New Orleans: The Circle Bar
Most writer-types dream of busting through a self-induced haze and a night of serious madness hosted by the good doctor. Alas, it will have to stay a dream after Thompson chose to end his life on that cold February morning. Buy the ticket; take the ride. Thompson apparently loved to visit New Orleans, staying at the Pontchartrain Hotel and dining at the St. Charles Ave Tavern. But to relax he would head to the Circle Bar for a drink, and maybe take in the latest hillbilly bluegrass or punk rock show tearing up the living room stage on that particular night. The American Dream may have been in Vegas, but Thompson’s heart floated to the Big Easy. - Geoffry Shannon
Favorite Movie Theater
The Prytania.
Even though its sound system, screen, and seats are not on par with the Palaces, the Prytania is my favorite movie theater in the New Orleans area. I will see a movie I have no interest in seeing just to patronize the Prytania. The theater is in a cute brick building in a beautiful section of Uptown and the crowds are nowhere near as bad as the Palaces, so going to a movie at the Prytania is a thoroughly relaxing experience. Partially because of the gorgeous neighborhood it’s in, partially because of the fact it is the only single screen theater left in the city, and partially because it is prominently featured in the greatest novel ever about New Orleans (A Confederacy of Dunces), it is the only movie theater left in the city that has a distinctly New Orleanian feel. - Fritz Esker
Favorite Saints Player
Joe Horn
2000: the most magical season in Saints history (admittedly, a backhanded compliment). Sadly, subsequent seasons have been disappointing. Many players from that team are gone. Aaron Brooks shows flashes of his incredible natural talent, but remains infuriatingly careless.
Only one player remains from 2000 and continues to contribute at the highest level: Joe Horn. In five seasons with the Saints, he caught 437 passes for a whopping 6,289 yards. Even as the Saints continue to find new ways to break our hearts (the mammoth 2002 Haslett/Brooks collapse, Carney’s missed extra point in 2003, and the improbable 2004 playoff run that ended in the season’s final week), Joe Horn plays every week (only 1 missed game in 5 years) and leaves it all on the field. He is a reminder of the best Saints season ever and he inspires hope that maybe, just maybe, they can put together another run like 2000. - Fritz Esker
Favorite Parade
Tucks
The best parade in New Orleans rolls on the Saturday before Mardi Gras. No, it’s not Endymion. Originally founded by college students in 1969, the Krewe of Tucks has been the most fun parade in town for many years (even if Muses is giving it a run for its money). Running on the Saturday before Mardi Gras, Tucks has the advantage of rolling at the start of the holiday weekend, before everyone’s exhausted from partying. The atmosphere is festive and makes for great people watching, but there is still room to stretch your arms and reach for throws without inadvertently clocking the person next to you (unlike Endymion). The floats are beautiful to look at and showcase a delightfully irreverent sense of humor. How can you not love a parade where the king rides by on a giant toilet? - Fritz Esker
Favorite movie filmed in New Orleans
Miller’s Crossing
As the local film industry continues its renaissance with high-profile productions like Ray and All the King’s Men coming through town, more attention than ever is being paid to New Orleans movies.
However, my favorite film shot in New Orleans was released in 1990. The Coen
Brothers’ classic Miller’s Crossing never actually names the city this Prohibition-era gangster story takes place in, but any native can spot the New Orleanian locations. The film skillfully uses locations from the Warehouse District, Uptown, Old Metairie, and the woods of the Northshore (the Miller’s Crossing of the title).
Miller’s Crossing is often overlooked in the Coen Brothers’ canon (Fargo, Barton Fink, The Big Lebowski). However, it is a masterfully complex tale of loyalty and revenge that is as clever and compelling as any of the best Dashiell Hammett novels. Shot in New Orleans, this is an overlooked classic. Rent it immediately. - Fritz Esker
Favorite place to chain-smoke: The Circle Bar (1032 Saint Charles on Lee Circle)
Shit happens. And for the rest of us that means buying a pack. We are living in a society so increasingly concerned with “lung cancer” and “emphysema” and all that other craziness that it’s hard to find somewhere to puff away in peace. The Circle Bar is a smoker’s oasis. Go there, order a stiff drink, and light up. - ?
Favorite place to hear “House of the Rising Sun” played continuously on the piano: Jean Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop (941 Bourbon St)
While this place is known as the oldest bar in New Orleans and is located on Bourbon Street, the entertainment is worth the possible tacky tourist interaction. On most nights of the week there is a pianist, fondly nicknamed Crazy Johnny by my friends. Johnny, like most musicians in this city and elsewhere, will play for money. Unlike most musicians, however, he uses this dinosaur head mounted on a stick (the kind with a rubber-band controlled mouth) to seize the money from his patrons. On most nights he usually loses track and plays the requested song several times; this alone is more than your money’s worth. Be it from memory loss, extreme substance abuse or just wanting to give back some love to the fans, Johnny’s rambling, generously slurred performances are sure to prove a memorable investment. - Beth Castillo
Best Local DJ: The Midnight Creeper (WWOZ – 90.7 FM)
Friday nights will never be the same after you’ve tuned into the “Blues Cruise,” hosted by WWOZ’s Jesse “The Midnight Creeper” Hathorne. Hathorne’s voice sounds like someone who’s cruised the world a million times over. With his personal anecdotes and diverse blues selections, the Creeper consistently spins the most solid set in town every Friday from midnight to 5:00am. At 5:01, all his listeners really get the blues. - Jennifer Corbridge
Most disruptive natural force in New Orleans that never was: Hurricane Ivan
It waited until it had emptied out the majority of the city before changing course and heading elsewhere. It’s not that we aren’t grateful for our close call, or compassionate to the states that did get hit, but we could have done without a week-long upset to the daily routine. It’s not cool to play games with people’s heads like that. - Erin Haindle
Favorite place to detox.
The New Life Center, DePaul/Tulane Behavioral Health Center.
1040 Calhoun Street. (The Center offers several types of mental health and substance abuse treatment programs.)
The New Life Center’s show-stopping revival of that beloved musical comedy On The Wagon has sure-fire Tony written all over it. The center’s five-star song-and-dance spectacular is wowing boozers, alkies, winos, die-hard dipsomaniacs and the slurring sloshed with its heart-warming renditions of such all-time favorites as “I Get No Kick from Champagne” or “Springtime for Souses in Detox.” For my money – actually, my insurance’s money – the DePaul/Tulane Social Aid and Pleasure Club, as it is affectionately known, is the hands-down best for getting off the sauce. The facility is located on a 13-acre Uptown campus near the Audubon Zoo where “They All Ask’d For You.” DePaul/Tulane Behavioral Health Center was founded in 1861, later merging as part of Tulane University Hospital & Clinic in 1997. The center welcomes casualties of drive-by binges and hit-and-run package stores. Whether teatime tipplers or Bloody Mary blackouts, drinkers can savor the sobriety of 72-year-hour medically supervised detox along with rehab treatment and follow-up care. Big thanks to the staff, especially Dr. D.T.; this patron saint of recovering alcoholics has dedicated himself to saving the world “one drunk at a time.” - Jana Mackin
Best place for poetic inspiration.
Newman Bandstand in Audubon Park
Sweet Euterpe blesses Newman Bandstand besides the Audubon lagoon where the music of Samuel Coleridge’s “The Aeolian Harp” – “soft floating witchery of sound/As twilight Elfins make” – wafts through nearby oaks. Sit, al fresco, under a bronze dome supported by two stylized Greek-revival columns and gaze out over the water. What Eleusinian mysteries are inscribed in each column?
One column states: “Dedicated to Isidore Newman (,) Rebecca Kiefer Newman 1921.”
The other:
And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.
Architect John Charles Olmsted designed the bandstand in 1921. In 1904, Isidore Newman had donated Newman Bandstand to Audubon Park. The building exemplifies the City Beautiful Movement from the 1890s through the 1920s.
So who penned such poesy? It is the final quatrain from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “The Day is Done,” first published as the "Proem" to The Waif, 1845.
Yet Edgar Allan Poe’s mixed review damns Longfellow with faint praise. In the Weekly Mirror, January 25, 1845, Poe writes: “A remarkable poem... (since it transcends) defective rhythm... in this case the cautious, skillfully planned and dexterously executed slip-shod-iness is so thoroughly in unison with the nonchalant air of the thoughts... that the effect of the looseness of metre becomes palpable.” - Jana Mackin
Best place to feel like a big, fat New Orleanian: Brewhouse Grill, N. Carrolton Ave.
If and when I move from New Orleans, there will be one image indelibly burned into my head. Consider: a large, round man of mixed Italian-Irish-German descent, belly busting, mustache bristling, sitting with a plump family at a New Orleans-style seafood restaurant. In front of him rises a fried shrimp and oyster platter piled skyward, accompanied by a frosty goblet of Abita brew. Others will recall beads and Bourbon Street, but my mind will always revert back to this staple image. You can find him and many others at the Brewhouse Grill, which specializes in overstuffed platters and $12.95 all you can eat crawfish Fridays and Saturdays. Line up early, and don’t get behind this guy. - Geoffry Shannon
Favorite overly pretentious coffee house hangout: Z’otz, Uptown
I always like my artistic elitism with a nice warm cup of green tea, and maybe a bagel if I have the cash. Sometimes, though, when I’m not feeling strong enough to withstand the smothering pretension of the downtown Z’otz, I head to Oak Street where everything is too fresh and new to be cocky yet. - Erin Haindle
Favorite place to sober up while eating a giant omelet at 3 am: Dot’s Diner (10701, 2317, & 4150 Jefferson Hwy.)
When my drinking buddies and I go out for a night of alcoholic fun, we inevitably end up at some greasy spoon eating breakfast in the wee hours of the morning. And if I had to add up the number of late night diners I’ve been to over the years, the list would be long and tiresome, but Dot’s Diner would definitely be on top. When they say “omelet” they really mean “wonderful egg, cheese, and whatever else you fancy combination bigger than your head with a side of hash browns and toast.” There is no better way to punctuate the night. - Erin Haindle
Hands down the best sushi in this city: Kanno (3205 Edenborn Ave, Metairie, 455-5730)
The sushi chef that likes to be called Elvis serves up the freshest sushi and sashimi I have found in this city... I’ll go as far to say the freshest and best I have eaten in the country. I can go in and order straight from the menu or tell him exactly what I want and how I want it and it’s never a problem and it always tastes great. Elvis enjoys throwing back sake with you if it’s the right occasion and he can still manage the sharp sushi knife. Unreal, unbelievable, and should be recognized as so! – Jessica Wiener
Best Barbecue Combo Plate: The Joint 801 Poland Avenue/Bywater
Big bodacious barbecue is always smoking at The Joint. Soooiiieee!!! Die-heard, down-home, pig-eating purists from the hollers need to get-U-some of the best barbecue combo plate this side of the Mississippi. Hog heaven costs only $9.95 with a choice of two meats (beef brisket, pulled pork, pork ribs or chicken) and one side (baked beans, baked macaroni and cheese, cole slaw or potato salad). The beef brisket and pulled pork are exquisitely spicy and tender. Pete Breen hand rubs the meats with his magic herbs and spices, smoking them for 12 hours over hickory and pecan in the backyard barbecue. Jenny Tice’s baked white beans are kissed with love and hints of molasses. Their signature tomato-based or vinegar-based barbecue sauces marry smoky-spicy-sweet flavors that linger instead of overkill. No thick, pasty barbecue sauce need apply. Expect an open door welcome as the smell of barbecue perfumes the canary yellow, cinderblock hole-in-the-wall that seats 30 customers at most. Key West funky with a Reggae drummer mural and several toy parrots, faux flowers and wooden picnic tables best describes the whimsical interior. - Jana Mackin
Biggest and best fried seafood platter in the universe: Jack Dempsey’s Restaurant, 738 Poland Ave.
Even the heaviest of heavyweight gluttons is sure to wrestle with second thoughts before getting into the ring with Jack Dempsey’s seafood platter. Odds are this Manassa Mauler of fried seafood will have them down for the count. Only the Colossus of Rhodes could make even a dent in such enormity of food. Here is seafood as golden light and delicious in taste as it heavyweight in size. Such a gastronomical gargantuan defies description, shaming this writer’s use of hyperbole as shameless and futile. The J.D. fried seafood platter for two consists of two gumbos, two macaroni and cheese side dishes or french fries, along with a traffic-stopping platter of fried redfish, catfish, oysters, shrimp, stuffed crab, small crawfish pies and an extra stuffed crab or snow crab. If you order this seafood platter for two, invite a platoon of Marines. - Jana Mackin
Best corner grocery store, fried shrimp/oyster po-boy: Monica’s Grocery, corner of Magazine and Milan Streets
As far as corner grocery store cuisine, Monica’s Grocery makes the best fried shrimp/oyster po-boys. Come any lunch hour and rub elbows with blue-collar workers and Second District cops who line up to order from Monica’s extensive, hand-written menu of Chinese takeout. Who would have thought such a selection, ranging from shrimp lobster sauce combo plate to Chicken Moo Goo to 13 kinds of po-boys, could thrive in this small mom-and-pop grocery? Sip on a bottle of Big Shot or check out the Old English 800 Gold Finger poster girl. Monica’s dressed-to-kill po-boy is stuffed to the gills with plump, crisp oysters and golden fresh shrimp, and covered with a sweet-and-spicy Oriental Remoulade sauce. No Visa, American Express or food stamps. Cash only for a delicious sandwich for only $4.89. - Jana Mackin
Best of Music 2005
Compiled by the Where Y’at School of Music Journalism
Favorite music venue: Tipitina’s (501 Napoleon, 895-8477)
Dude, everything about Tip’s is aligned correctly these days. The venue manager is a charming, accommodating young man with a roguish charm who can welcome VIPs warmly one moment and crack the whip on unseemly behavior the next. The sound in the place will knock your socks off. The bartenders are quick, crisp and pleasant, and they operate in an orderly and disciplined fashion, oftentimes in the face of utter chaos. They also know how to pour a drink. The doormen and women are impervious to just about any kind of hustle, and rarely do they allow any sort of patron unpleasantness to ruffle their feathers. The bust of Professor Longhair still blindly gazes forth, bestowing good fortune on those who are inclined to rub its little noggin. In short, the vibe is right at this club. If ever a band you like is playing there, you can be assured that seeing them on Tip’s big stage with Tip’s big sound will be an esteemed experience.
Favorite off-the-beaten path spot with right on local music booking: Banks Street Bar (4401 Banks Street, 486-0258)
The bar is slightly seedy and the neighborhood is marginal. The band plays on the concrete floor in the corner; there is no stage to speak of. Patrons wishing to relieve themselves get to navigate around the neck of the band’s second guitarist or isolated bassist. Pitchers of beer are damn cheap. Sometimes pretty girls are there. Sometimes, the dregs of society are scowling through cigarette smoke. But whoever does the booking at the Banks Street Bar does a damn fine job. Musicians and bands that play there on a regular basis: Wolfman Washington, Juice, Saaraba, I Tell You What, Quite Contrary, Joe Krown, Soul Project, Westbank Mike and Andy J. Forest. When Juice is hosting one of their jam sessions with a litany of random special guests, or Wolfman is wailing on his guitar at 3:30 in the morning, the Banks Street Bar becomes a personification of the New Orleans ethos.
Favorite music club that closed, had an epic celebration of the closing, then announced they were reopening in a new location, then didn’t open there, but still claim they will reopen somewhere: The Mermaid Lounge
The Mermaid was cool, and it sucks that the landlord forced them out, and we did a nice feature on the place when it closed, and we hope it appears somewhere else in the future. Let us know. We will try and make it to the grand opening, but only if Rotary Downs headlines.
Favorite jukebox in town (tie): The Joint (801 Poland, 949-3232) and Parasol’s (2533 Constance, 897-5413)
There was heated debate on this topic, as music writers also fancy themselves as jukebox kings, confident in their ability to jump start the atmosphere with their obscure Stones or Dylan selection. The Joint garnered high marks for the J.J. Cale, Charlie Hunter and the Band selections on their ‘box. Parasol’s was fervently defended because of the Clash, Ramsey Lewis, Hank Sr. and Hank III. Since jukebox appreciation is one of the most subjective topics out there, we are certain that 80% of you will disagree with our choices. But really, you should yield to our superior knowledge…
List of local bands that we like and think should receive more attention in local, regional and national circles (in no particular order – in fact the order was determined by cutting up little pieces of paper and writing numbers and Chinese symbols on them and making a piñata and drinking margaritas and…):
Chris Mule Band, Otra, Rotary Downs, Joe Krown Organ Combo, the SophistiCats, Egg Yolk Jubilee, Country Fried, Happy Talk Band, Dirty Mouth, Dave Stover Band, Soul Project, Maurice Brown (both his jazz and funk projects), Atman Roots, Water, Kirk Joseph’s Backyard Groove, Have Soul Will Travel, Panorama Jazz Band, Sunpie and the Louisiana Sunspots, Elastic Karma Kings, the Left Field Ramblers, Crazyface, Boogie City (do they still exist?), Macrosick, John Rankin and Gravy.
Favorite music ambiance and place to have a hang in the middle of the night: The Maple Leaf (8316 Oak, 866-9359)
Just so you know, things start late at the Leaf. This is a place to exercise patience, conversation skills during extended set breaks and getting your groove full-on when the music is cascading out of the tiny stage, the band sometimes hidden by the big speakers and the bodies thrashing about. The music room at the Leaf is narrow and long, the lighting is soft and muted, the sound is rich and full, and if you get caught in a moment and gaze at one of the slowly turning dilapidated fans, dreaming about success or beer or that girl that was just next to you, the time passes like a grainy old film and you can feel warm and secure about your lot in life. Then there are times that a June Yamagishi guitar solo will drill a hole in your brain and you are being jostled by people who can’t handle the intensity of the music or the intoxicants and you have to retreat to the quiet little garden patio out back, and those times are good, too.
Favorite dance party: DJ Soul Sister upstairs at Mimi’s (2601 Royal, 942-0690)
If you don’t know, well, we will grudgingly fill you in. DJ Soul Sister has this mad collection of rare funk, soul, groove, boogaloo, soul jazz and so on and so forth. She spins selections from her collection on many Saturday nights at Mimi’s. Assorted hipsters and groove-masters turn out to listen and do things like shake it with style. We find the Soul Sister hang at Mimi’s to be the perfect accompaniment to another activity filled New Orleans evening, i.e. dinner at a decent place, a set of live music somewhere, a lot of drinks along the way, and then hitting Mimi’s to get the last vestiges of freakiness out for the evening. Good for the heart and soul and cardiovascular system, too.
Favorite club on Frenchmen Street for a reasonably priced drink and musicians playing blues music with their hearts on their collective sleeves: The Apple Barrel (609 Frenchmen, 949-9399)
Whether it is Rockin’ Jake’s manic harmonica or Mike Hood’s barrelhouse boogie-woogie piano leading the charge, the music at the Apple Barrel is on target. The place is small and populated with an equal distribution of legitimate locals and curious tourists who have stumbled onto something they’ve been searching for their whole lives: pure, unadulterated expression. We are particularly fond of one of the female bartenders: she’s a bit older but still cute as a button; she’s an eccentric and a sweetie; and she’s got an attitude and she can kick some ass but then she can smile ever so beautifully. So anyway, we think Mike Hood should write a song about her and that the tourists who witness the debut of said song at the Barrel should tip the band a twenty spot and buy a round of drinks for everyone. Thank you.
Favorite place to come away with “only in New Orleans” stories: Charity Hospital
After 20 minutes of sitting in this waiting room you will need another pad of paper in order to keep up with jotting down the crazy shit that comes through. You may want to bring some Pepto with you as well because the sights – scary yet funny – can make your stomach turn… in the good way and bad. An example of this could be a large and in charge women in a muumuu with a white towel wrapped around her neck that has now turned red because of some unknown under the towel. For all I know she could be bleeding to death, and obviously, only in New Orleans, the nurses don’t seem to care; she needs to wait along with everyone else. - Jessica Wiener
Where not to go if you are trying to hide yourself or that “other” special someone: the Fly on Saturday
If feeling anti-social or incapable of maintaining small talk, especially after a long night of drinking, avoid the levy at all costs. The majority of Uptowners, in particular college kids, choose to spend the day here drinking, throwing a football, and catching rays (and by that I mean a day of eyes wandering to check everyone and everything out). So definitely don’t bring someone you are trying to hide across the tracks to the Fly. - Jessica Wiener
Most Ironic Intersection: where Martin Luther King Blvd meets Jeff Davis Parkway
Anyone who knows anything about history shouldn’t need an explanation. But for those of you who weren’t as smart as the person next to you in history class, I’ll offer a brief synopsis (or summary). Martin Luther King, Jr. revolutionized society by granting civil rights to blacks that were neither enumerated in the Constitution nor the Abolition Amendment. Jefferson Davis was the president of the Confederacy during the Civil War. Just a hunch, but I don’t think that Ol’ Jeff Davis would favor the Civil Rights Act too much. That’s a crossroads if I ever saw one. I wouldn’t be surprised if some tension existed in that neighborhood. - John Breerwood
Best place to have a Keg Party: Winston’s Pub and Patio
Think of having a keg party for your business or your college graduation without any responsibilities…. Well, stop thinking about it and (as Officer Starsky would say) Do it!” As long as you bring 30 people and schedule it in advance, you’re set to have a free Bud Light keg on the outside patio, and you can bring any catered food you want. So the next time you get a hernia hauling a heavy bitch (a keg, that is), don’t say I didn’t just tell you to pick up the damn phone and go to Old Metairie! - John Breerwood
Best Place to get Struck By Lightning: Harvey Canal Locks
Do yourself a favor by not going to this area during a thunderstorm. I used to work at the Corps of Engineers Harvey Lock, and I’ve seen some bolts and rods (and I’m not talking hardware either). The Lock sits in between the two highest metallic points in Harvey: a crane along the river and a train drawbridge that stands straight to the sky when not being used. I got a few whiffs of electric shock when lightning struck a barge crane in the locks. So, I say again, don’t drive down 4th Street during a rainfall, because the next thing you’ll be lightning will be your undies afterward. - John Breerwood
Best bar to watch the rebroadcasts of “Morgus the Magnificent”: Brother’s
Three Tavern
He’s back! Yeah you right! Dr. Momus Alexander Morgus the Magnificent, his trusty sidekick Chopsley, and E.R.I.C. the uh… floating skull head thingy are back in business, performing classic experiments for the good people of New Orleans every Friday night at 10:30 p.m. on Cox Television Channel 10. With the Old City Ice House’s ER room taking patients, long time fans are now watching alongside first timers, and what better place to witness the surgeries commence then at Brother’s Three Tavern on Magazine Street. Get there around 9 p.m. Friday evenings to grab a barstool with the locals, who
will reminisce in that thick city accent of theirs about late weekend evenings with cookies, milk and Morgus. They’re sucking down beers now instead of 2%, but then, for you, that’s a good thing. - Geoffry Shannon
Best Adult Puppet Show: Razzamatazz Productions
No, there aren’t any penis tricks here, so those needing to see the “Hamburger” or “Baby Bird” will have to pay $40 bucks on Off-Off Broadway next time they go. For the rest of us, there is Razzamatazz Productions, a traveling marionette show run by local art teacher and William Castle protégé Ryan Ballard, along with his band of merry pranksters. Though appearing regularly around town, the troupe’s home base is at the Big Top on
Clio Street. All the puppets are exquisitely handmade, with special effects to boot. Hear the sad tale of “Marlboro Karl,” or travel with Led Belly to find the “Cross Roads,” or be awed by the mystery of the “Roaches of the Liver.” Watch the sock monkeys do their thing on stage, and then make your own during special Saturday afternoon sessions held frequently at Big Top. - Geoffry Shannon
Best way to learn how to wax historic with a local: Watch WYES local productions Sundays at noon.
Yeah, it’s PBS, and we know you gave up Big Bird and Yan Can Cook back in kindergarten, but it’s all right every now and then to watch a little educational television, especially when it will help you learn more about your hometown. Roll over from that Saturday night hangover and watch guys like music legend Deacon Jones, former Mayor Moon Landrieu and Mardi Gras historian/talking head Larry Lorenz wax poetic on where people ate, shopped, and lived, as well as family stories and legendary personas of the Big Easy. And the next time a native quizzes you about Mr. Bingle or the Swan Room, you’ll have an answer for them this time. - Geoffry Shannon
Best local can’t-get-that-damn-tune-out-of-my-head song: Cyril Neville’s “New Orleans Cookin’”
To refresh:
“Your love is like New Orleans cookin’, it hits the spot every time.
It fills me with joy,
like an oyster po-boy,
And a taste of homemade wine!”
He finds a way to fit oyster po-boy into a song, people. Genius. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place to pretend you’re in a Raymond Chandler novel: The French Quarter, Saint Ann Street to Frenchmen Street
“The girl from Palookaville, the one with the skirt and the gams that stretched skyward was standing in my Bourbon Street office, flashing an innocent smile. But I could see right through the Mid-West pout; she was no good, a smart blonde with a dumb smile itching to stab me in the back. I didn’t care. I invited her to the Clover Grill for a blue plate special. She nibbled on chili fries and flirted with the short order cook while I shook off my Scotch hangover with a cheeseburger. I laid a crisp Jefferson on the table for the bill. She slipped her number to the cook in a crushed napkin. We made our way over to Frenchmen Street for a late night be-bop trio at Snug Harbor. I got drunk; she flashed eyes at the trumpet player. This, I thought, was detective’s work, my work. I took another shot and let the jazz sink in.”
It ain’t Phillip Marlowe, but I think it would go something like that. -- Geoffry Shannon
Best place to watch a baseball game that means something, but not get
drunk: Turchin Stadium
Fans of the National Pastime should head to the back of Tulane University’s Uptown campus to catch one of the hottest teams in college baseball play their way to Omaha. The Green Wave, ranked No. 1 in the nation in Collegiate Baseball and No. 3 in Baseball America, use the old mix of tough pitching, solid defense and the three-run homerun to defeat their unsuspecting prey… er, opponents. And their matchups between LSU have drawn more crowds then many major league games. Still, you better pre-game or risk paying $4 bucks a pop for a cold one. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place to watch a baseball game that doesn’t mean anything, but get drunk: Thirsty Thursdays with the New Orleans Zephyrs
You’ve got to drive to Airline Highway to enjoy AAA baseball, but when you’re throwing down $1 a brew, you can afford the extra gas money. Once again, the Z’s wonderful promotion staff is offering up Thirsty Thursdays. Baseball, cheap beer, extra hotdog money, tickets on the grass levee… the tourists don’t know what they miss in the summertime. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place to simultaneously watch a three-ring circus and a basketball game: New Orleans Hornets regular season game
Maybe the casual fans enjoy it, I guess. But when I pay to watch hoops, I want to watch hoops. Instead, I get the Big Easy Hip Hop Break Dance Extraordinaires, the Hi-Fly Slam Dunk team, contortionists with exceptional bow hunting skills in their feet, dog tricks, unicyclists, mascots, dancing girls, dancing fat men, incoherent cover bands and a miniature blimp that drops coupons on people. Then, if you’re lucky, Dan Dickau shoots a jay or two before the lion tamer sets up for the halftime act. If Dr. Jay were dead, he would be rolling in his grave. - Geoffry Shannon
Best place you might have been able to buy Hunter S. Thompson a drink in
New Orleans: The Circle Bar
Most writer-types dream of busting through a self-induced haze and a night of serious madness hosted by the good doctor. Alas, it will have to stay a dream after Thompson chose to end his life on that cold February morning. Buy the ticket; take the ride. Thompson apparently loved to visit New Orleans, staying at the Pontchartrain Hotel and dining at the St. Charles Ave Tavern. But to relax he would head to the Circle Bar for a drink, and maybe take in the latest hillbilly bluegrass or punk rock show tearing up the living room stage on that particular night. The American Dream may have been in Vegas, but Thompson’s heart floated to the Big Easy. - Geoffry Shannon
Favorite Movie Theater
The Prytania.
Even though its sound system, screen, and seats are not on par with the Palaces, the Prytania is my favorite movie theater in the New Orleans area. I will see a movie I have no interest in seeing just to patronize the Prytania. The theater is in a cute brick building in a beautiful section of Uptown and the crowds are nowhere near as bad as the Palaces, so going to a movie at the Prytania is a thoroughly relaxing experience. Partially because of the gorgeous neighborhood it’s in, partially because of the fact it is the only single screen theater left in the city, and partially because it is prominently featured in the greatest novel ever about New Orleans (A Confederacy of Dunces), it is the only movie theater left in the city that has a distinctly New Orleanian feel. - Fritz Esker
Favorite Saints Player
Joe Horn
2000: the most magical season in Saints history (admittedly, a backhanded compliment). Sadly, subsequent seasons have been disappointing. Many players from that team are gone. Aaron Brooks shows flashes of his incredible natural talent, but remains infuriatingly careless.
Only one player remains from 2000 and continues to contribute at the highest level: Joe Horn. In five seasons with the Saints, he caught 437 passes for a whopping 6,289 yards. Even as the Saints continue to find new ways to break our hearts (the mammoth 2002 Haslett/Brooks collapse, Carney’s missed extra point in 2003, and the improbable 2004 playoff run that ended in the season’s final week), Joe Horn plays every week (only 1 missed game in 5 years) and leaves it all on the field. He is a reminder of the best Saints season ever and he inspires hope that maybe, just maybe, they can put together another run like 2000. - Fritz Esker
Favorite Parade
Tucks
The best parade in New Orleans rolls on the Saturday before Mardi Gras. No, it’s not Endymion. Originally founded by college students in 1969, the Krewe of Tucks has been the most fun parade in town for many years (even if Muses is giving it a run for its money). Running on the Saturday before Mardi Gras, Tucks has the advantage of rolling at the start of the holiday weekend, before everyone’s exhausted from partying. The atmosphere is festive and makes for great people watching, but there is still room to stretch your arms and reach for throws without inadvertently clocking the person next to you (unlike Endymion). The floats are beautiful to look at and showcase a delightfully irreverent sense of humor. How can you not love a parade where the king rides by on a giant toilet? - Fritz Esker
Favorite movie filmed in New Orleans
Miller’s Crossing
As the local film industry continues its renaissance with high-profile productions like Ray and All the King’s Men coming through town, more attention than ever is being paid to New Orleans movies.
However, my favorite film shot in New Orleans was released in 1990. The Coen
Brothers’ classic Miller’s Crossing never actually names the city this Prohibition-era gangster story takes place in, but any native can spot the New Orleanian locations. The film skillfully uses locations from the Warehouse District, Uptown, Old Metairie, and the woods of the Northshore (the Miller’s Crossing of the title).
Miller’s Crossing is often overlooked in the Coen Brothers’ canon (Fargo, Barton Fink, The Big Lebowski). However, it is a masterfully complex tale of loyalty and revenge that is as clever and compelling as any of the best Dashiell Hammett novels. Shot in New Orleans, this is an overlooked classic. Rent it immediately. - Fritz Esker
Favorite place to chain-smoke: The Circle Bar (1032 Saint Charles on Lee Circle)
Shit happens. And for the rest of us that means buying a pack. We are living in a society so increasingly concerned with “lung cancer” and “emphysema” and all that other craziness that it’s hard to find somewhere to puff away in peace. The Circle Bar is a smoker’s oasis. Go there, order a stiff drink, and light up. - ?
Favorite place to hear “House of the Rising Sun” played continuously on the piano: Jean Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop (941 Bourbon St)
While this place is known as the oldest bar in New Orleans and is located on Bourbon Street, the entertainment is worth the possible tacky tourist interaction. On most nights of the week there is a pianist, fondly nicknamed Crazy Johnny by my friends. Johnny, like most musicians in this city and elsewhere, will play for money. Unlike most musicians, however, he uses this dinosaur head mounted on a stick (the kind with a rubber-band controlled mouth) to seize the money from his patrons. On most nights he usually loses track and plays the requested song several times; this alone is more than your money’s worth. Be it from memory loss, extreme substance abuse or just wanting to give back some love to the fans, Johnny’s rambling, generously slurred performances are sure to prove a memorable investment. - Beth Castillo
Best Local DJ: The Midnight Creeper (WWOZ – 90.7 FM)
Friday nights will never be the same after you’ve tuned into the “Blues Cruise,” hosted by WWOZ’s Jesse “The Midnight Creeper” Hathorne. Hathorne’s voice sounds like someone who’s cruised the world a million times over. With his personal anecdotes and diverse blues selections, the Creeper consistently spins the most solid set in town every Friday from midnight to 5:00am. At 5:01, all his listeners really get the blues. - Jennifer Corbridge
Most disruptive natural force in New Orleans that never was: Hurricane Ivan
It waited until it had emptied out the majority of the city before changing course and heading elsewhere. It’s not that we aren’t grateful for our close call, or compassionate to the states that did get hit, but we could have done without a week-long upset to the daily routine. It’s not cool to play games with people’s heads like that. - Erin Haindle
Favorite place to detox.
The New Life Center, DePaul/Tulane Behavioral Health Center.
1040 Calhoun Street. (The Center offers several types of mental health and substance abuse treatment programs.)
The New Life Center’s show-stopping revival of that beloved musical comedy On The Wagon has sure-fire Tony written all over it. The center’s five-star song-and-dance spectacular is wowing boozers, alkies, winos, die-hard dipsomaniacs and the slurring sloshed with its heart-warming renditions of such all-time favorites as “I Get No Kick from Champagne” or “Springtime for Souses in Detox.” For my money – actually, my insurance’s money – the DePaul/Tulane Social Aid and Pleasure Club, as it is affectionately known, is the hands-down best for getting off the sauce. The facility is located on a 13-acre Uptown campus near the Audubon Zoo where “They All Ask’d For You.” DePaul/Tulane Behavioral Health Center was founded in 1861, later merging as part of Tulane University Hospital & Clinic in 1997. The center welcomes casualties of drive-by binges and hit-and-run package stores. Whether teatime tipplers or Bloody Mary blackouts, drinkers can savor the sobriety of 72-year-hour medically supervised detox along with rehab treatment and follow-up care. Big thanks to the staff, especially Dr. D.T.; this patron saint of recovering alcoholics has dedicated himself to saving the world “one drunk at a time.” - Jana Mackin
Best place for poetic inspiration.
Newman Bandstand in Audubon Park
Sweet Euterpe blesses Newman Bandstand besides the Audubon lagoon where the music of Samuel Coleridge’s “The Aeolian Harp” – “soft floating witchery of sound/As twilight Elfins make” – wafts through nearby oaks. Sit, al fresco, under a bronze dome supported by two stylized Greek-revival columns and gaze out over the water. What Eleusinian mysteries are inscribed in each column?
One column states: “Dedicated to Isidore Newman (,) Rebecca Kiefer Newman 1921.”
The other:
And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.
Architect John Charles Olmsted designed the bandstand in 1921. In 1904, Isidore Newman had donated Newman Bandstand to Audubon Park. The building exemplifies the City Beautiful Movement from the 1890s through the 1920s.
So who penned such poesy? It is the final quatrain from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “The Day is Done,” first published as the "Proem" to The Waif, 1845.
Yet Edgar Allan Poe’s mixed review damns Longfellow with faint praise. In the Weekly Mirror, January 25, 1845, Poe writes: “A remarkable poem... (since it transcends) defective rhythm... in this case the cautious, skillfully planned and dexterously executed slip-shod-iness is so thoroughly in unison with the nonchalant air of the thoughts... that the effect of the looseness of metre becomes palpable.” - Jana Mackin
Best place to feel like a big, fat New Orleanian: Brewhouse Grill, N. Carrolton Ave.
If and when I move from New Orleans, there will be one image indelibly burned into my head. Consider: a large, round man of mixed Italian-Irish-German descent, belly busting, mustache bristling, sitting with a plump family at a New Orleans-style seafood restaurant. In front of him rises a fried shrimp and oyster platter piled skyward, accompanied by a frosty goblet of Abita brew. Others will recall beads and Bourbon Street, but my mind will always revert back to this staple image. You can find him and many others at the Brewhouse Grill, which specializes in overstuffed platters and $12.95 all you can eat crawfish Fridays and Saturdays. Line up early, and don’t get behind this guy. - Geoffry Shannon
Favorite overly pretentious coffee house hangout: Z’otz, Uptown
I always like my artistic elitism with a nice warm cup of green tea, and maybe a bagel if I have the cash. Sometimes, though, when I’m not feeling strong enough to withstand the smothering pretension of the downtown Z’otz, I head to Oak Street where everything is too fresh and new to be cocky yet. - Erin Haindle
Favorite place to sober up while eating a giant omelet at 3 am: Dot’s Diner (10701, 2317, & 4150 Jefferson Hwy.)
When my drinking buddies and I go out for a night of alcoholic fun, we inevitably end up at some greasy spoon eating breakfast in the wee hours of the morning. And if I had to add up the number of late night diners I’ve been to over the years, the list would be long and tiresome, but Dot’s Diner would definitely be on top. When they say “omelet” they really mean “wonderful egg, cheese, and whatever else you fancy combination bigger than your head with a side of hash browns and toast.” There is no better way to punctuate the night. - Erin Haindle
Hands down the best sushi in this city: Kanno (3205 Edenborn Ave, Metairie, 455-5730)
The sushi chef that likes to be called Elvis serves up the freshest sushi and sashimi I have found in this city... I’ll go as far to say the freshest and best I have eaten in the country. I can go in and order straight from the menu or tell him exactly what I want and how I want it and it’s never a problem and it always tastes great. Elvis enjoys throwing back sake with you if it’s the right occasion and he can still manage the sharp sushi knife. Unreal, unbelievable, and should be recognized as so! – Jessica Wiener
Best Barbecue Combo Plate: The Joint 801 Poland Avenue/Bywater
Big bodacious barbecue is always smoking at The Joint. Soooiiieee!!! Die-heard, down-home, pig-eating purists from the hollers need to get-U-some of the best barbecue combo plate this side of the Mississippi. Hog heaven costs only $9.95 with a choice of two meats (beef brisket, pulled pork, pork ribs or chicken) and one side (baked beans, baked macaroni and cheese, cole slaw or potato salad). The beef brisket and pulled pork are exquisitely spicy and tender. Pete Breen hand rubs the meats with his magic herbs and spices, smoking them for 12 hours over hickory and pecan in the backyard barbecue. Jenny Tice’s baked white beans are kissed with love and hints of molasses. Their signature tomato-based or vinegar-based barbecue sauces marry smoky-spicy-sweet flavors that linger instead of overkill. No thick, pasty barbecue sauce need apply. Expect an open door welcome as the smell of barbecue perfumes the canary yellow, cinderblock hole-in-the-wall that seats 30 customers at most. Key West funky with a Reggae drummer mural and several toy parrots, faux flowers and wooden picnic tables best describes the whimsical interior. - Jana Mackin
Biggest and best fried seafood platter in the universe: Jack Dempsey’s Restaurant, 738 Poland Ave.
Even the heaviest of heavyweight gluttons is sure to wrestle with second thoughts before getting into the ring with Jack Dempsey’s seafood platter. Odds are this Manassa Mauler of fried seafood will have them down for the count. Only the Colossus of Rhodes could make even a dent in such enormity of food. Here is seafood as golden light and delicious in taste as it heavyweight in size. Such a gastronomical gargantuan defies description, shaming this writer’s use of hyperbole as shameless and futile. The J.D. fried seafood platter for two consists of two gumbos, two macaroni and cheese side dishes or french fries, along with a traffic-stopping platter of fried redfish, catfish, oysters, shrimp, stuffed crab, small crawfish pies and an extra stuffed crab or snow crab. If you order this seafood platter for two, invite a platoon of Marines. - Jana Mackin
Best corner grocery store, fried shrimp/oyster po-boy: Monica’s Grocery, corner of Magazine and Milan Streets
As far as corner grocery store cuisine, Monica’s Grocery makes the best fried shrimp/oyster po-boys. Come any lunch hour and rub elbows with blue-collar workers and Second District cops who line up to order from Monica’s extensive, hand-written menu of Chinese takeout. Who would have thought such a selection, ranging from shrimp lobster sauce combo plate to Chicken Moo Goo to 13 kinds of po-boys, could thrive in this small mom-and-pop grocery? Sip on a bottle of Big Shot or check out the Old English 800 Gold Finger poster girl. Monica’s dressed-to-kill po-boy is stuffed to the gills with plump, crisp oysters and golden fresh shrimp, and covered with a sweet-and-spicy Oriental Remoulade sauce. No Visa, American Express or food stamps. Cash only for a delicious sandwich for only $4.89. - Jana Mackin
Best of Music 2005
Compiled by the Where Y’at School of Music Journalism
Favorite music venue: Tipitina’s (501 Napoleon, 895-8477)
Dude, everything about Tip’s is aligned correctly these days. The venue manager is a charming, accommodating young man with a roguish charm who can welcome VIPs warmly one moment and crack the whip on unseemly behavior the next. The sound in the place will knock your socks off. The bartenders are quick, crisp and pleasant, and they operate in an orderly and disciplined fashion, oftentimes in the face of utter chaos. They also know how to pour a drink. The doormen and women are impervious to just about any kind of hustle, and rarely do they allow any sort of patron unpleasantness to ruffle their feathers. The bust of Professor Longhair still blindly gazes forth, bestowing good fortune on those who are inclined to rub its little noggin. In short, the vibe is right at this club. If ever a band you like is playing there, you can be assured that seeing them on Tip’s big stage with Tip’s big sound will be an esteemed experience.
Favorite off-the-beaten path spot with right on local music booking: Banks Street Bar (4401 Banks Street, 486-0258)
The bar is slightly seedy and the neighborhood is marginal. The band plays on the concrete floor in the corner; there is no stage to speak of. Patrons wishing to relieve themselves get to navigate around the neck of the band’s second guitarist or isolated bassist. Pitchers of beer are damn cheap. Sometimes pretty girls are there. Sometimes, the dregs of society are scowling through cigarette smoke. But whoever does the booking at the Banks Street Bar does a damn fine job. Musicians and bands that play there on a regular basis: Wolfman Washington, Juice, Saaraba, I Tell You What, Quite Contrary, Joe Krown, Soul Project, Westbank Mike and Andy J. Forest. When Juice is hosting one of their jam sessions with a litany of random special guests, or Wolfman is wailing on his guitar at 3:30 in the morning, the Banks Street Bar becomes a personification of the New Orleans ethos.
Favorite music club that closed, had an epic celebration of the closing, then announced they were reopening in a new location, then didn’t open there, but still claim they will reopen somewhere: The Mermaid Lounge
The Mermaid was cool, and it sucks that the landlord forced them out, and we did a nice feature on the place when it closed, and we hope it appears somewhere else in the future. Let us know. We will try and make it to the grand opening, but only if Rotary Downs headlines.
Favorite jukebox in town (tie): The Joint (801 Poland, 949-3232) and Parasol’s (2533 Constance, 897-5413)
There was heated debate on this topic, as music writers also fancy themselves as jukebox kings, confident in their ability to jump start the atmosphere with their obscure Stones or Dylan selection. The Joint garnered high marks for the J.J. Cale, Charlie Hunter and the Band selections on their ‘box. Parasol’s was fervently defended because of the Clash, Ramsey Lewis, Hank Sr. and Hank III. Since jukebox appreciation is one of the most subjective topics out there, we are certain that 80% of you will disagree with our choices. But really, you should yield to our superior knowledge…
List of local bands that we like and think should receive more attention in local, regional and national circles (in no particular order – in fact the order was determined by cutting up little pieces of paper and writing numbers and Chinese symbols on them and making a piñata and drinking margaritas and…):
Chris Mule Band, Otra, Rotary Downs, Joe Krown Organ Combo, the SophistiCats, Egg Yolk Jubilee, Country Fried, Happy Talk Band, Dirty Mouth, Dave Stover Band, Soul Project, Maurice Brown (both his jazz and funk projects), Atman Roots, Water, Kirk Joseph’s Backyard Groove, Have Soul Will Travel, Panorama Jazz Band, Sunpie and the Louisiana Sunspots, Elastic Karma Kings, the Left Field Ramblers, Crazyface, Boogie City (do they still exist?), Macrosick, John Rankin and Gravy.
Favorite music ambiance and place to have a hang in the middle of the night: The Maple Leaf (8316 Oak, 866-9359)
Just so you know, things start late at the Leaf. This is a place to exercise patience, conversation skills during extended set breaks and getting your groove full-on when the music is cascading out of the tiny stage, the band sometimes hidden by the big speakers and the bodies thrashing about. The music room at the Leaf is narrow and long, the lighting is soft and muted, the sound is rich and full, and if you get caught in a moment and gaze at one of the slowly turning dilapidated fans, dreaming about success or beer or that girl that was just next to you, the time passes like a grainy old film and you can feel warm and secure about your lot in life. Then there are times that a June Yamagishi guitar solo will drill a hole in your brain and you are being jostled by people who can’t handle the intensity of the music or the intoxicants and you have to retreat to the quiet little garden patio out back, and those times are good, too.
Favorite dance party: DJ Soul Sister upstairs at Mimi’s (2601 Royal, 942-0690)
If you don’t know, well, we will grudgingly fill you in. DJ Soul Sister has this mad collection of rare funk, soul, groove, boogaloo, soul jazz and so on and so forth. She spins selections from her collection on many Saturday nights at Mimi’s. Assorted hipsters and groove-masters turn out to listen and do things like shake it with style. We find the Soul Sister hang at Mimi’s to be the perfect accompaniment to another activity filled New Orleans evening, i.e. dinner at a decent place, a set of live music somewhere, a lot of drinks along the way, and then hitting Mimi’s to get the last vestiges of freakiness out for the evening. Good for the heart and soul and cardiovascular system, too.
Favorite club on Frenchmen Street for a reasonably priced drink and musicians playing blues music with their hearts on their collective sleeves: The Apple Barrel (609 Frenchmen, 949-9399)
Whether it is Rockin’ Jake’s manic harmonica or Mike Hood’s barrelhouse boogie-woogie piano leading the charge, the music at the Apple Barrel is on target. The place is small and populated with an equal distribution of legitimate locals and curious tourists who have stumbled onto something they’ve been searching for their whole lives: pure, unadulterated expression. We are particularly fond of one of the female bartenders: she’s a bit older but still cute as a button; she’s an eccentric and a sweetie; and she’s got an attitude and she can kick some ass but then she can smile ever so beautifully. So anyway, we think Mike Hood should write a song about her and that the tourists who witness the debut of said song at the Barrel should tip the band a twenty spot and buy a round of drinks for everyone. Thank you.
