A Day in the Life of Jazz Fest...
Apr 14 2017

A Day in the Life of Jazz Fest...

By: Julie Mitchell

Ever been to Jazz Fest? Trying to decide whether or not you should go? Whether you're a vet who’s been every season or a noob trying to figure out if it's right for you, take a look at this quick itinerary and be transported through the magic of....A Day In The Life of Jazz Fest.


10:30 a.m.: Look at camping chairs, decide they are too much of a hassle, leave them and take a blanket instead.

10:40 a.m.: Arrive at the Fair Grounds, attempt to find a parking space.

10:55 a.m.: Realize your gross miscalculation.

11:10 a.m.: Drive four blocks away, attempt to find a parking space.

11:30 a.m.: Have a mental breakdown.

11:45 a.m.: Give up. Pay a man $25 to move his trash can.

12:00 p.m.: Get to the Fair Grounds, get in line.

12:10 p.m.: Get in the festival!!

12:11 p.m.: Realize you are dying of thirst.

12:15 p.m.: Curse the heavens for not bringing a water bottle.

12:16 p.m.: See someone drinking the largest Strawberry Lemonade you have ever seen.

12:16 p.m.: Bask in its cool refreshing glow.

12:18 p.m.: Spend $6 on a Strawberry Lemonade.

12:21 p.m.: Become disgusted with the taste of sugar.

12:22 p.m.: Throw away most of your Strawberry Lemonade.

12:24 p.m.: See one of those boards with the stage diagrams on it.

12:25-12:40 p.m.: Try to figure out where you are.

12:41 p.m.: See that two bands you like are playing at the same time.

12:42 p.m.: Make a Sophie’s Choice.

12:43 p.m.: Start walking towards where you think your chosen tent is.

12:44 p.m.: Buy a $4 beer for the walk.

12:50 p.m.: Find another map board, realize you went the wrong direction.

1:00 p.m.: Find your band!

1:05 p.m.: Regret not bringing camping chairs.

2:00 p.m.: Get hungry.

2:30 p.m.: Buy some food.

2:45 p.m.: Buy some more food.

3:00 p.m.: Realize Stevie Wonder is playing.

3:01 p.m.: Frantically try to find Stevie Wonder.

3:03 p.m.: Yell “Stevie!”

3:05 p.m.: Realize that was dumb, buy another beer.

3:10 p.m.: Find the stage Stevie Wonder is on.

3:15 p.m.: Take out some binoculars, because apparently nobody else forgot he was playing.

4:00 p.m.: Scream the lyrics to “Ribbon In the Sky”.

4:10 p.m.: Buy another beer.

4:12 p.m.: Run into some friends. They have camping chairs!

4:20 p.m.: Fall asleep in a camping chair.

5:15 p.m.: Wake up happy and sunburned.

5:20 p.m.: Put on a hat.

5:30 p.m.: Argue with your friends about the next band to see. Try to drag them to Lauryn Hill, but end up telling them you’ll meet them at Nick Jonas.

5:50 p.m.: Bond with other Lauryn Hill fans.

6:00 p.m.: Realize you need to go to the bathroom.

6:01 p.m.: Prepare yourself mentally to use a Port-a-Potty.

6:30 p.m.: Finally use the Port-a-Potty.

6:35 p.m.: Catch the end of Nick Jonas

6:37 p.m.: Think about how problematic the lyrics of “Jealous” are.

6:38 p.m.: Sing-along anyway.

7:00 p.m.: Leave to go home.

7:15 p.m.: Put aloe on your sunburn, sleep forever.

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